I'm feeling totally drained, hopeless, dejected, vulnerable and just downright crappy right now like a poisoned river. Never did I imagine I'd confront such emotions head-on. My life has been a chaotic mess of tears and trials, yet I've always refused to become a victim of circumstance. I'm used to standing tall against whatever life throws at me, even if I have to fake it till I make it. But right now, feeling this vulnerable? It's the last thing I ever wanted.

Having it all used to be my thing - power, money, fame, you name it. But now, it's like they're just meaningless trophies gathering dust on a shelf. Four months flipped my life upside down. It's like I've been lost in a maze with no map. I used to know who I was, but now? I feel like a total stranger to myself.

The version of myself that journeyed back to the 10th century seems like a distant memory now. Perhaps nothing more than a whisper in the wind. It's a concept I struggle to wrap my mind around, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. Someone else seems to have taken the reins of my life.

It's surreal. Like dedicating a decade of your life to chasing a dream, only to realize that the very object of your obsession has become something far more profound. Imagine sailing across an endless ocean in search of treasure, only to discover that the true riches lie in the journey itself. That's what it feels like. It's crazy to think that the enigmatic figure I once idolized, whose life I thought would be my ticket to fame, has become more than just a means to an end.

Rajadhiraj Vikramaditya Abhivart, no, Vikram. Just Vikram. Even his name churns my insides like some immortal elixir. I lost to him. I lost to him—not in a battle fought with swords, but in a contest of fate twisted beyond recognition. I lost to him in a way that was never supposed to be possible for me. I lost to him the very existence of myself. And now, that lost part of me is longing to meld with him like fragment looking for completion. I'm back in my own time, but living in this hollow shell of a body feels like trying to find air to breathe in the vacuum of space. Utterly pointless.